Happy Easter, Everyone!

Still really busy trying to get caught up from spending the weekend in Houston at MK Career Conference, but I could not let the chance to share this go by. My older sister sent me this link and being a bit of an artist myself, I was mightily impressed with it.

My younger sister just sent me these, too, so I will share them as well:

Here  are a few things to think about while you are relaxing… 

Can you cry under water?

——————————— 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

——————————— 

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”.. . but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

——————————— 

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

——————————— 

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

——————————— 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

——————————— 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

——————————— 

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

——————————— 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

——————————— 

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

——————————— 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

——————————— 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

——————————— 

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

——————————— 

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

——————————— 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

——————————— 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

——————————— 

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

——————————— 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

——————————— 

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

——————————— 

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

——————————— 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

——————————— 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

——————————— 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

——————————— 

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? 

“Smile, It will improve your face value” 

You all hummed the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle…Admit it!!!!

 Gotcha!

I have been kinda busy lately, but I am feeling guilty about any dedicated readers I might still have coming to this site to see the same thing day after day, so I thought I would share some ”kidstuff” with you: 

Sign of the times? 
A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?” 
The father answers: “Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: 

…You’ll love this….

“You got Male!’”

WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students…here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was “DON’T!”

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven’t taken it, don’t be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

MORE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

“TAKE TWO ASPIRIN” AND “KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN”!!!!!

On Sunday as I was literally falling into bed, I noticed that I still had not removed my earrings when my head hit the pillow. I had been wearing some recently acquired ones–little silver hearts with word “joy” in the middle of them that I discovered in the post-Christmas sale section at a store where I rarely ever purchase anything since it was usually so expensive & I have enough costume jewelry to start my own shop anyway. (I stopped in since the lady I planned to visit after I visited the shops told me how much she enjoys that place, hoping to find a little something to take as a gift for her & was fortunate enough to find treasures for both of us & another person as well for very little $$.) One earring was missing. It was late, I was tired & I knew somebody (I won’t mention any names here, but many of you could guess) was very likely to get a bit testy if I turned on the light & started ripping the bed apart anyhow, so I did the Scarlett O’Hara thing and put if off till the next day……

The next morning’s search of the bed & vicinity did not yield my missing earring, so I decided to check out some of the places that I was on Sunday after I finished setting up the food pantry at church that afternoon. Even with the wonderful assistance from the college students, my back pain & a missing coffeepot stem stretched out the job until well into the evening rush hour & I almost forgot to look for my earring before I headed to the three places I still had to go before home. The bad news: no earring anywhere in that church that I thought to look. The good news: it was already so late that most of the rush hour traffic had abated. I got home & nuked a frozen dinner for the Donkster before I stared at the blabberbox for several hours watching Law & Order reruns to deal with the loss of my “joy” earring….

I came home from church this afternoon after volunteering at the pantry this morning & as I pulled into the garage (thankfully our garage door & opener are working–hope Tude got hers operating again, too!) I saw all of these leaves that had blown into the garage yesterday when it was so windy–some halfway to the back wall. I decided that I needed to sweep the leaves back outside where they wouldn’t get tracked in & while I was rounding them up, I saw something shiny in the leaf pile. It was–you guessed it!–my “joy” earring……

So, I have found my JOY and wanted to share it with all of you.

News Flash (no pun intended )

I FOUND THE MISSING CORDLESS PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

WooHOO!!!!!!!!

It was hiding under the cushion of one of the “company chairs”–our matching French blue chairs with the Queen Anne style legs that really belong in our front room, but have taken up residence in our family room for the last few years. We never seem to have enough comfy places for everyone to sit in the family room during holiday gatherings or whenever we have a crowd from church, so one time they got moved in there & every time I think of moving them back, it seems like we are planning another large gathering, so they have just stayed in there since then…..

Anyway, I was vacuuming the couch last night (well, more like this morning) since I caught the kitty up there trying to sneak in a nap during our card game earlier in the evening & my allergies were really starting to get to me. I figured I would give the other chairs in the room a swipe with the upholstry brush while I had everything fitted together for that, just in case she had been there, too while I wasn’t watching. Well, if you are going to go to all of that trouble, you might as well get UNDER the cushions, too, right?

YAY! I found the lost phone! I found the lost phone! I found the lost phone! I won’t be home to answer it though–I am heading to the grocery store to get all the stuff I discovered we were out of when I cleaned the fridge yesterday…..

I have been getting “messages” from everywhere lately about gratitude, so I figure it is time for ME to do a blessing post:

Blessings that I celebrate:

1. Donkey & our offspring—-3 of the most “wonder-full” people I know….

2. Furry, purry, loveable ball ‘o fluff, Juliet, with her gentle, loving spirit, but she knows how to take care of herself….

3. God’s wisdom, grace & love–also my growing understanding of what that means…..

4. Humor & creative spirit in myself & others–so I can share the laughter & beauty….

5. (Reasonably) healthy mind, body & spirit….

6. So many friends from so many places—-family, church, business, neighborhood, xanga, youth…..

7. Appreciation of the talents of others—-I love the way Tude did her blessings in verse!

8. Opportunities to learn & grow everywhere I look……

9. Nice home, filled with comfy furnishings & a lovely, green yard—-even if I don’t always tend to it regularly….

10. A source of income to help maintain our home, provide reliable transportation & sustain us in other ways…..

11. Resources like time, $$ & love to be able to share with others….

12. My family of origin, personal history & heritage that have made me the person I am right now…..

Ooooh! That felt good……………Was it good for you, too? 

Beadbrat’s post about housework & who does what, when & how often got me thinking about that sort of thing…….

……..then an email buddy sent me this cute little thing about a house-cleaning Orangutan at a Japanese zoo and my hopes of training the male species to better clean up after themselves (and possibly even others) went soaring like a rocket:

Gypsy cleaning house

Alas, I fear my hopes are in vain. Gypsy is a FEMALE Orangutan…..

My younger sister seems to lean toward the wishful thinking approach………

Me? I’m still kinda shell-shocked over all the events that have occured in the last week. For any of you who have not visited Donkey’s site recently, this past week we were primarily occupied with providing clothing, food & shelter to Donkey’s sister & her family, who were unexpectedly displaced by a natural gas explosion in the early hours of the morning last Thursday. (Everyone is okay–including their neighbor whose house was instantly reduced to rubble while she was in it. Thanks be to God!) After having to spend what was left of the night in the fire station because the hotels in the area were all full with convention attendees, they opted to rent a car to drive here since their buckled garage door was trapping their own cars inside and the entire neighborhood was a debris field anyway, making the roads impassible to or from their home……

Here are some links to the local news stories (Nephew is quoted in one of them) about it:

http://cms.firehouse.com/content/article/article.jsp?sectionId=46&id=53097
http://www.houstonist.com/archives/2007/01/25/missouri_city_w.php
http://www.khou.com/news/local/fortbend/stories/khou070126_jj_mocityexplosionfolo.210a8af9.html

I was the lucky pantry volunteer selected to attend the food handling/civil rights class required to keep our certification as a partner agency with the local food bank current for another year, which happened to be scheduled for earlier in the day that Thursday before our human & canine house guests arrived. Right before the conclusion of the certification class, a gentleman in the row behind me had some sort of seizure & we had to call 911. No more drama, please!

……the last of Donkey’s family left very early Sunday morning after finally securing hotel space since their house is no longer habitable. Donkey’s sister’s husband & our nephew returned even earlier so that they could begin the process of assessing damage, making arrangements for repairs & boarding up all the windows before the expected rain blew through. Our niece had already missed two days of school & everyone was worried about how much they were disrupting our lives, so the rest of the family wanted to get back as soon as they could. I went to church after they left, then came home & stared at the TV for pretty much the rest of the day……WowieHolyCowie……..

Earlier today, I mailed off the clothing that was purchased for our niece (they arrived with only the clothing they were wearing) but forgotten during their early moring departure since she also had the option of wearing some of our daughter’s clothes. When I spoke with Donkey’s sister on the way to the post office, she was frustrated because now that it wasn’t the weekend, she was expecting more things to get done (I was , too!) & they weren’t. My younger sister, who had her house destroyed by fire 5 or 6 years ago, tells me that it took them about a year for things to really settle back into a normal routine afterwards…….

If you are so inclined, prayers for all the families on Covey Trail affected by the explosion would certainly be appreciated. All of this has made me very grateful for those boring, uneventful days we all have and also increased my appreciation for my MK business associates who stepped up to take care of things that I just wasn’t going to be able to manage last Thursday. It also raised my consciousness about those who live in war zones where this sort of thing happens EVERY day……
Take care & God bless.

 In these serious times it is important for all of us, of all faiths, to recognize these four Religious Truths:

1.  Muslims do not recognize Jews as God’s chosen people.

4.  Born Again Christians do not recognize each other at Hooters.

But, let’s not get too serious…….

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS, BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED. SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN. 

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS

And then there is this oldie but goodie……..

*Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly, God was tired of hearing all the bickering. *

*Finally fed up, God said, “THAT’S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.” *

*So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. *

*They moused. *

*They faxed. *

*They e-mailed. *

*They e-mailed with attachments. *

*They downloaded. *

*They did spreadsheets! *

*They wrote reports. *

*They created labels and cards. *

*They created charts and graphs. *

*They did some genealogy reports. *

*They did every job known to man. *

*Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. *

*Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. *

*Jesus just sighed. Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming: *

*”It’s gone! It’s all GONE! “I lost everything when the power went out!” *

*Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. *

*Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait!” he screamed.  “That’s not fair! He cheated! How come he  has all his work and I don’t have any?” *

*God just shrugged and said, *

*”JESUS SAVES.”* 

The sign in the photo is supposed to be somewhere on I-35 near Dallas. Somehow I missed it when I was up that way last summer…..

  I thought I might multitask a bit here and see if I can upload a photo without Donkey talking me through it & also share this little gem from one of my friends:

Don’t I have some amusing friends? That was so much fun, I’m going to try it again. Here is the “Welcome” sign I made for our food pantry:

Wow. This is sooo cool! Way more better than trying to think up a bunch of words!  More pictures! I need more pictures…..