August 28, 2008

• Texas

  This little gem came from one of my buddies in YankeeLand who, as far a I know, has never been to Texas. She thought I would find it amusing. I did and now I am sharing it with all of you in hopes that you will also…. 

  Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas…

  If someone in a Lowe’s store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you may live in Texas; (I know this to be the truth!)

  If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;

  If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas; (guilty as charged!)

  If “Vacation” means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;

  If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas; (or Michigan–they do it there, too!)

  If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;

  If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas; (sad, but true)

  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas; (at one time I was a fairly good jumper-cabler)

  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph — you’re going 80 and everybody’s passing you, you may live in Texas; (not just yes, but H*LL, yes!)

  If you find 60 degrees “a little chilly,” you may live in Texas; (true for most of the natives)

  If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.

  Need to be cheered up?

  Happy, Texas 79042

  Pep, Texas 79353

  Smiley, Texas 78159

  Paradise, Texas 76073

  Rainbow, Texas 76077

  Sweet Home, Texas 77987

  Comfort, Texas 78013 (one of my best friend’s home town)

  Friendship, Texas 76530

  Love the Sun?

  Sun City, Texas 78628 (some of our friends live here now)

  Sunrise, Texas 76661

  Sunset, Texas 76270

  Sundown, Texas 79372

  Sunray, Texas 79086

  Sunny Side, Texas 77423

  Want something to eat?

  Bacon, Texas 76301

  Noodle, Texas 79536

  Oatmeal, Texas 78605

  Turkey, Texas 79261

  Trout, Te xas 75789

  Sugar Land, Texas 77479 (Donkey’s sister lives close to here)

  Salty, Texas 76567

  Rice, Texas 75155

  And top it off with:

  Sweetwater, Texas 79556

  Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!

  Detroit, Texas 75436

  Colorado City, Texas 79512

  Cleveland, Texas 77327

  Dayton, Texas 77535

  Denver City, Texas 79323

  Klondike, Texas 75448

  Nevada, Texas 75173

  Memphis, Texas 79245

  Miami, Texas 79059

  Boston, Texas 75570

  Santa Fe, Texas 77517

  Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861

  Reno, Texas 75462

  Feel like traveling outside the country? Don’t bother buying a plane ticket!

  Athens, Texas 75751

  Canadian, Texas 79014

  China, Texas 77613

  Egypt, Texas 77436

  Ireland, Texas 76538

  Turkey, Texas 79261

  London, Texas 76854

  New London, Texas 75682

  Paris, Texas 75460 (worked with a guy from here quite a while ago)

  No need to travel to Washington D.C.

  Whitehouse, Texas 75791

  We even have a city named after our planet!

  Earth, Texas 79031

  And a city named after our State!

  Texas City, Texas 77590 (Drove by on daily commute for more than a year)

  Exhausted?

  Energy, Texas 76452

  Cold?

  Blanket, Texas 76432

  Winters, Texas

  Like to read about History?

  Santa Anna, Texas

  Goliad, Texas

  Alamo, Texas

  Gun Barrel City, Texas

  Robert Lee, Texas

  Need Office Supplies?

  Staples, Texas 78670

  Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, Texas 76084

  You guessed it..it’s on the state line..

  Texline, Texas 79087

  For the kids…

  Kermit, Texas 79745

  Elmo, Texas 75118

  Nemo, Texas 76070

  Tarzan, Texas 79783

  Winnie, Texas 77665

  Sylvester, Texas 79560

  Other city names in Texas , to make you smile…..

  Frognot, Texas 75424

  Bigfoot, Texas 78005

  Hogeye, Texas 75423

  Cactus, Texas 79013

  Notrees, Texas 79759

  Best, Texas 76932

  Veribest, Texas 76886

  Kickapoo, Texas 75763

  Dime Box, Texas 77853 (Driven through here before, too)

  Old Dime Box, Texas 77853

  Telephone, Texas 75488

  Telegraph, Texas 76883

  Whiteface, Texas 79379

  Twitty, Texas 79079

  And last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City

  Kilgore, Texas 75662

  And our favorites…

  Cut n Shoot, Texas

  Gun Barrell City, Texas

  Hoop And Holler, Texas

  Ding Dong, Texas (Someone we know might just feel right at home here!) and, of course,

  Muleshoe, Texas

  Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .

  1. Beaumont to El Paso: 742 miles

  2. Beaumont to Chicago: 770 miles

  3. El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas.

  4. World’s first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.

  5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. (Drove by this on my way to work, too.)

  6. The Heisman Trophy ws named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston.

  7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America. (Donkey’s dad used to do a lot of birdwatching here.)

  8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America ‘s only remaining flock of whooping cranes. (Aransas, not Arkansas, is in Texas, too.)

  9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978. (Donkey’s family lived in LJ during that time.)

  10. The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island. (That is why Galveston has a seawall today!)

  11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969, was “Houston.”

  12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island. (Drove by it, but did not have time to stop. Had to get to son’s jazz competition.)

  13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43″ in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979. (Donkey, his family & I all lived through that. Alvin is only a few miles from LJ & the little town where I was living at the time.)

  14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.

  15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old. (The one in our yard estimated to be several hundred years old is just a baby compared to this one!)

  16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

  17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper.

  18. Texas has had six capital cities: Washington -on- the Brazos, Harrisburg, Galveston, Velasco, West Columbia and Austin. (We lived in Galveston before moving to Austin.)

  19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).

  20. The name “Texas” comes from the Hasini Indian word “tejas” meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas.

  21. The State Mascot is the Armadillo An interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females. (They also like to dig holes in your yard.) 

  22. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston. (Went to a rodeo there years ago.)

  Cowboy’s Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas:

  (1) Just one God.

  (2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.

  (3) No telling tales or gossipin’.

  (4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.

  (5) Put nothin’ before God.

  (6) No foolin’ around with another fellow’s gal.

  (7) No killin’.

  (8) Watch yer mouth.

  (9) Don’t take what ain’t yers.

  (10) Don’t be hankerin’ for yer buddy’s stuff

  Now that’s kinda plain an’ simple don’tcha think?

  • 10:47 am
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