Somewhere out there in XangaLand today, I saw
something about computer gender and also some other really funny stuff
about men & women, too, so I thought I would share these:
“Le ou La computer?”
A
French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
“House” is feminine — “la maison. “
“Pencil” is masculine — “le crayon.”
A student asked, “What gender is ‘computer’?”
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups
– male and female — and asked them to decide for themselves whether
“computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was
asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (“la computer”), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine (“le computer”), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Then there is this little cutie:
A
couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern
Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The
wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors
out a short distance, anchors, and continues
to read her book.
Along
comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies (thinking, “isn’t that obvious?”).
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”
“Yes,
but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am”, and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.
And finally, this one:
He said . . . I don’t now why you wear a bra – you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don’t you?
He said . . . Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
She said . . . They don’t have time
He said . . .. What do men and sperm have in common?
She said . . ….They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
He said . . How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
She said . . . He buys two cases of beer.
He said . . . What is the difference between men and government bonds?
She said . . . The bonds mature.
He said . . . Why are blonde jokes so short?
She said . . So men can remember them.
He said . . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . . We don’t know; it has not ever happened.
He said . . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
She said . . . They already have boyfriends.
He said . . . What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said . . . A widow.
He said .. . . What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
She said . . . They’re married.
Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God says: “So you would love her.”
“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”
God says: “So she would love you.”
….Amen 
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